Baby it's Effing Cold Outside

Was going to go for a jog this morning ... was what I thought the previous night after I ate an entire white pizza. In my defense, 1.) the pizza was a frozen California Pizza Kitchen variety; 2.) I was very hungry; and 3.) it was raining outside. Oh yeah - I had like three Harvey Wallbangers the night before (probably just a Wallbanger because Wal-Mart is too good to carry Galliano, one of three "required" ingredients for a Harvey Wallbanger). What I did instead this morning was put on a salsa dancing exercise video. But the thought of getting fit with an instructor/probably once a stripper Giselle (complete with "Spanish" accent) just didn't feel right with me. Maybe it was the three Wallbangers, but I decided to call it quits after half the video. After that I did what any normal person would do - have a bagel with cream cheese.

P.S. Paul McCartney performing four songs on SNL made me forget my craving for some crazy sugary dessert. That and I don't have anything crazy and sugary in my house.

Day Off the Hook!

Today is my day off.

I woke up at 10:30 a.m. I ate four snickerdoodle cookies. I have watched two seasons of Weeds in the past four days. Okay three days. In my defense, a season is like thirteen episodes (writer's strike) to fifteen episodes (not writer's strike). And those cookies are the size of a silver dollar.

Welcome to November my friends.

Dancin' by myself

I don't know about the one legit follower we have, but what I loved about college almost more than anything else was the dance parties. I'm not just talking about the frat parties where the DJ threw down some ill beats while some freshman roommates split a lukewarm beer (cause I never did that....). I'm talking about the gayest in the best possible way dance parties my roommates and I used to host at our house. Ever dance to the entire soundtrack of popular broadway musical turned EVEN popular movie musical Hairspray? Or to Moulin Rouge? And who could forget the time we put on some Transiberrean Orchestra and interpretive danced?

My point about these dance parties is that they may not be intense work-outs, but they are fun and more importantly, I let off a lot of steam. So my advice to the person (or people) is that when you're feeling down, stressed, or bored, dance it out. Chances are I'm in my apartment, cranking up my tunes (ABBA perhaps?), and dancing with you from afar.

Burn Baby Burn

In my attempt to get into exercise, I went on search for a program that combined some of my favorite ways to burn calories: dancing awkwardly, nothing too advanced, and disco music. I may have stumbled onto the greatest thing to hit the exercise dvd market since Tae-Bo. It's "Disco Abs with some star from Dancing with the Stars." And it's awesome! I mean, they have real disco songs like "Disco Inferno" and ... "Disco Inferno" again! I've used it four times in the past two weeks and I've noticed a difference in my dance moves because they are now authentic. Another big plus is how you know when you're exercising to a video, they say "Now you're left" but then you get confused because their left is not your left? Well with this video, when they say left they move with their right, so you and the video mirror each other! This took me a while to get used to because I automatically assumed since I was moving (almost) exactly like the video, that I was moving wrong. Also, I forget sometimes the difference between my left and right sides.

Oh yeah they have "I Will Survive" on the workout soundtrack. Can you dig it?

I think we're gonna need a bigger box

My last post was about some of my favorite things, which ended up mostly about beverages. Not a problem. Being Monday, the least favored day of the week in my opinion, I started thinking about my not-so favorite things. And what do we have here, but a little list:

NOT FAVORITE

Blue Box Mac & Cheese - I'm on to you mass-market producers of probably one of the greatest foods in the world. The last time I cooked Mac and Cheese, I found there to be remarkably less pasta produced then, let's say, when I was six and my mom could use a box to provide an ample side for a family of four with leftovers. I would be hesitant to cry out "Saboteur," but anyone remember Cadbury Egg-gate in 2007? B.J. Novak from "The Office" appeared on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" with an Cadbury Egg from a few years ago and a present-day Cadbury Egg, proving that Cadbury had made the egg smaller in later years. For shame.

Rachel Ray: First off I love food shows, and I've been known to use some Rachel Ray recipes when hungry. But Miss Ray, please stop with the baby talk. You're a grown woman without kids. Quit saying things on TV like "Makin' a sammy" when you make a sandwich. Sure it was cute when Oprah invited you on her show to cook and she'd laugh at the Rachel Ray-isms like "EVOO" and "Yum-Oh," but just because Oprah laughed years ago doesn't mean that every sentence you now use has to peppered with Ray-isms. Pretty soon we're all going to need a Rachel Ray conversion chart just to decipher what the hell you are making - and you don't even use metrics!

Pop Tarts - I've talked about this in earlier blog posts. If one Pop-Tart is one serving, then don't package two servings in one package! That's just ridiculous.

Alright, well that's a list of some on my not-so favorite things. Hope you enjoy hating these as much as I do.

We've Got JOHN Travol-TAAA!

Since I usually have afternoons off, I get to catch my girl Oprah in her farewell season. Inspired by her and her favorite things episodes titled "Oprah's Favorite Things Episodes," I thought I'd share a little bit about some of my favorite things (some obvious, some probably not).

Beverages:
Soy milk - I'm not a big milk connoisseur, but I usually put it in my coffee or cereal. What I like about soy milk is that it usually lasts longer than regular milk - I figure it's worth paying extra if it means I won't accidentally use sour milk.

Reduced sugar orange juice - Minute Maid and Tropicana both have versions of orange juice with half the sugar and calories as regular juice. Now before I drank coffee everyday, I had to have my orange juice before anyone said anything to me. However, regular orange juice usually has 100+ calories and around 20 grams of sugar per serving (1 cup). Yikes! So I switched to the lighter stuff that has the same amount of vitamins, just less of the sugar and calories. Plus it makes me feel less guilty when I want to have a screwdriver.

Well that's all of my favorite things for today. See you kids later!

Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head...

... Or at least they would be if I bothered to go outside and work-out. You see, it's been raining for the past couple of days, and of course it's always when I think "Hey, I should go outside and go for a jog." How convenient.

Well this is a short post. It's starting to get sunny outside - should I go jogging? I think I'm just going to eat a pizza instead.

Plan of Inaction

Today was a great day back from the holiday weekend (does it still count as a holiday if you work and/or sleep for most of it?)! I got up at 9 am, went for a jog, did some core exercises ... and by 9 a.m. I mean 10:45-11:30 a.m. (can't really remember what time I acutally got out of bed), did 15 minutes of yoga (and by 15 minutes I yoga I really mean 2-5 minutes of me attempting to remember the easiest poses such as sleeping worm ... that's a pose, right?), made coffee, and ate what turned out to be two servings of pop tarts.*

My holiday weekend really wasn't full of me stuffing my face with carbs and fat and empty calories. Primarily because I didn't have any food in my house besides frozen chicken and soy milk. I did go grocery shopping. I had to because I was out of gin. So my weekend consisted of gin, working, and watching Arrested Development. If laughing counts as exercise (which it does), well then I laughed the equivalent of a marathon with Arrested Development. That probably explains why I got ten hours of sleep last night. Not sure why my legs ache though...

A wise but drunk friend once said to me "I stay in shape from running ... and sex." With that, I replied "Yeah ... running probably works better with my schedule." I have confidence that someday I will find my tennis shoes (I think they are in my closet, but one can't be too sure) and set a work-out routine. But for now, laughing marathons are gonna have to suffice.

*1 pop tart = 1 serving.
1 package of pop tarts = two servings
Pop Tart packages = FAIL

And So We Meet Again

Wow. Two years? Where did the time go? And more importantly, what am I going to eat for lunch?

I've been trying to eat better in the last two years. I've discovered that veggie burgers are not gross, but AWESOME, yogurt makes me want to vomit (I think it's the texture), and that drinking carbonated beverages while also drinking booze can really prevent hangovers (or combine the two, you know, like gin and tonic, rum and coke...).

As for exercising, cue the cricket noises now. Actually, my exercise is mainly my jobs. Yeah, that's right, I've got one college degree and two part-time jobs ... in retail. The plus is I think the reason I haven't gained a lot of weight is because of my work. The downfall is I hate it and can't seem to get out of retail hell, which I think causes a lil' bit of stress eating and drinking.

So that's the past two years in a nutshell. As for lunch, I'm thinking subway. The $5 footlong sub is really the best thing to happen to sandwiches in a long time.